The Big Swap - Part 42

~FORTY TWO~

"Coming!" Kanan yelled, before hurrying his way out of the shower. Skipping to dry his hair, he leaned into his cupboard and pulled out the first Tshirt and track pants that his palms gripped before changing into them in record speed.

With quick strides, he made way for the door, unlocking it quickly in response of the bell that had been rung not less than ten seconds ago.

"Meera."

She stood rather awkwardly, her fingers fidgety with the strap of her purse per usual, blushing the exact way he was used to seeing her blush in his presence.

"Hey." She gave out a small smile, "I would've called before coming but-"

He cut her with a quick wave of the hand, and pulled the door further open in invitation. Meera hastily tucked a loose chunk of hair behind the curve of her ear before walking in quietly.

"What's up?"

"Well, Dadi's back home and my family's back to being it's old bickering self. So...I'm heading back to Delhi tomorrow."

Kanan tried to supress the disappointment within, and nodded lightly with a quick mutter, "Oh."

Meera didn't look away from him as immediately as he expected her to, and he wondered for whether she wanted to say something more. Her hair was pulled into a high pony tail today he noticed, with some hair sticking out in a most carefully careless manner, looking simply stunning with the tight jeans and baggy T shirt she wore. This was kind of similar to how she dressed when they were kids; before he quietly watched her inclination transition to kurtis and leggings.

God how hopeless am I? What the hell am I thinking?

Kanan forced his gaze elsewhere, before his thoughts headed to a direction he didn't want to allow them to head to.

"I...was just going to make some coffee for myself. Do you...want to stay or...?" He deliberately left the question hanging, for being able to assess the look on her face at that.

"I'd come to ask you for coffee myself actually."

This came as a surprise. "Why?"

Meera placed her purse on the couch, before walking towards his general direction gingerly. "This past week, I've been so rude and....and I've insulted you in every way possible. I just, figured there's some stuff we need to discuss before I left."

Kanan shook his head lightly, his arms folding before his chest defiantly. "You were rude and I responded to it with equal coldness. I think we're even."

She looked a little surprised at his answer, and said nothing immediately.

"How come you're not in the hospital right now?"

He grinned for response, before pulling out two mugs from the cupboard above. "Well, believe it or not, I'm on a holiday today."

Meera let out an amused laugh, "Seriously? You mean, no hospital, no clinic no seminars...no lectures...nothing?"

"Aye. I've been planning this holiday for a while actually. I rescheduled all my surgeries and the like."

She watched him pour some hot water onto a saucepan for heating.

"So should I be making two cups of coffee or....?"

Meera shrugged, "Can't we go out instead?"

Kanan watched her gaze shift around his house quietly, obviously realizing they were alone at home and perhaps, recalling the countless heated moments they'd shared here as kids.

"Meera, I would love to go for coffee with you but I've opened up about everything I possibly could. There's nothing left for us to discuss. Not from my side at least." He paused, quickly adding, "And if you don't mind, I want to stay indoors today. You know...in pyjamas, watch something on Netflix maybe...."

Meera bit her lip, going through a clear indecision about whatever was on her mind.

"How are you okay with any of this Kanan?"

"Okay with what?" he shrugged.

"I don't know..." she explained, her brows creased. He didn't understand why she looked as confused as she did that instant. Nothing about her disposition was anything he'd seen on her before. "....knowing I'm in love with Vedant. And yet, wanting to marry me and...and doing so much for my family."

"You're so very sure that we won't end up together?"

Meera was taken aback. "Yes, Kanan. I've only told you a hundred times that I love Vedant. And you should know that I care for you too. I don't want you to have these hopes for something that can never happ-"

"-you have your own theories Meera. Let me hold onto my hope."

Kanan turned back to the stove, before pouring the Nescafe powder into the boiled water.

But Meera was beginning to get frustrated now. What was he thinking? More importantly, why was he so hopeful? What was he holding onto?

"Kanan if it's that...that indecision or whatever you saw flashing in my eyes when we were about to kiss then I hate to burst your bubble but that's what you call hormones. You're a doctor, you should know. It was just a moment and nothing more than that."

To her complete and utter surprise, this only got him to let out a laugh, as he covered the distance between them in quick strides. The smug grin on his face was devilishly handsome and familiar to the point of discomfort. She looked away instantly, taking a step back from him.

"We were about to kiss."

Meera blinked, "What?"

"We started with you were about to kiss me Kanan and are now at we were about to kiss. I say that's progress."

She rolled her eyes immediately, now riled up beyond compare. Despite herself, she felt a striking sense of déjà vu suddenly. How many countless banters had they indulged in as teenagers? This almost felt comforting.

Almost.

So very typical of him to irritate her like this! She could perfectly well see how much he was enjoying this, just like old times.

"Don't get me wrong Meera but, look at it this way. If it isn't me, your family will be busy hitching you up with some other guy. I, on the other hand, am someone you've already been with and someone who is promising you, that neither my family nor yours will be bothering you with the idea of marriage until the end of your MBA. You really have nothing to lose in this."

Silence filled the air, as she let the weight of his words sink in. When Kanan took a step away from her and headed towards the kitchen, she wondered why or how he managed to rile her up so easily. Most importantly though, how did he manage to sound so perfectly logical all the freaking time?

And why was she feeling...convinced?

She had a year to figure out how to introduce Vedant to her family after all, thanks to Kanan. Really, what did she have to lose in this?

"What's in it for you Kanan?"

"Believe it or not Meera, I'm quite certain that while your feelings may be a little more tipped towards Vedant, I'm the right guy for you."

There it was, the answer to the question that had been plaguing her mind the entire week. What was it that attracted her to Kanan so much?

Was it the weird aura of confidence about his being? Was it how he challenged her and made her question her resolve after every confrontation? Or was it simply the weird feeling of warmth she felt at knowing that he understood her about as well as she understood herself? Maybe even better.

More than this realization though, the smugness in his disposition annoyed her too much, and she spat before she knew,

"I don't love you like that anymore."

"Let's get one thing straight Meera." Kanan paused, turning towards her with her cup of coffee in his hand. His palm fished for hers gingerly, and gently, before passing the cup onto her hand slowly. "I'm not Vedant."

Meera gazed at his palm still placed on hers, before challenging, "That's right Kanan. You aren't. And you can't be like him either."

To her complete surprise though, he laughed, before stepping even closer to her than before, "And I don't even want to be like him Meera! I'm not going to only say things that please you in order to ensure nothing harms this apparently perfect relationship of ours. I'm not going to sacrifice every bit of my happiness just to have you in my life. I'm rude when annoyed, I'm competitive and equally ambitious about my profession and I took years to realize what you mean to me. But you and I both know one thing Meera, I am, what I am. And this right here, what we had...what we can have....is something you never feel around him. I complete you in ways he never has and never can Meera. Because he doesn't know you like I do.

Now, to answer your question, I'm not okay with hanging mid-air for this one year. But you know what? I think you're worth it."

Meera blinked, again, rattled by the weight of his words.

"You're saying all this despite knowing that I don't love you like that anymore?"

Kanan shook his head, disbelief written all over his features, "Is that what you keep telling yourself? Is that the reason you're here to tell me you're leaving tomorrow?"

"I...I just wanted to inform you before disappeari-"

"-which, by the way, could've been done over the phone. Besides, I'm either in the clinic or hospital around this time of the day, and yet here you are, standing only a couple of inches away from me in my house, somehow aware of my holiday which only Rishi knew about."

Meera sighed, "What are you trying to insinuate?"

"I think you're smart enough to figure that out yourself." He grinned, "And your coffee's getting cold."

Eyes rolling, Meera realized, she felt too cornered for comfort and along with it, came this fatigue of having fought so much with him.

"I'm going to ask you this one last time. After which you have my word for not caring anymore." She paused for effect, "Why are you doing this Kanan?"

He smiled despite the tension in the air, before he whispered ever so softly, "So that when you're back in Delhi and start living your normal life with Vedant again, you don't forget how you felt when he wasn't there." And then after a pause, almost as if she'd imagined him saying that last bit he offered, "When's your flight tomorrow?"

"7 AM." She mumbled distractedly.

"I'm dropping you to the Airport."

If there was one thing being with Vedant had taught her to appreciate, it was to not be bossed around; the exact way, Kanan was that instant. Brows creased with irritation and pent up anger she had no idea she had within, she responded rather harshly,

"No.I'll manage thank you." And with that, she stepped back hastily, took a big gulp of the coffee she swore Vedant made much better, and headed for the exit, "Bye Kanan."   

...continued The Big Swap - Part 43